MEET THE BAND
 . “The Mysterious Lady” [Parvyn Kaur Singh]Singing on stage since she was five, but still mysterious and still every inch a lady. Casts a spell with her intimate blend of Western and Eastern vocal styles and sings in many languages. Ties a mean sari in five seconds flat. |
 . “The Tiger” [Shourov Bhattacharya]Grrr. From acappella to Bollywood funk, he’s a Bengali with a different set of stripes. He loves nothing better than filming a sepia-tinted chase scene followed by a single malt and a quiet spot of writing neo-Hindi pidgin pop. |
 . “The Skipper” [Andy Williamson]Twenty years on the sax, thousands of shows with dozens of bands, the Skip is the leader, the inspiration and the man with the big stick. His vision for a retro Bollywood pirate ship has come to life. Also inventor of the Bombay Royale cocktail! |
 . “The Boatswain” [Bob Knob]Bassist, composer, producer and casual killer. Runs his own studio and record label Hopestreet Recordings from the badlands. The Boatswain keeps the band together with a mix of threat and bribery, yet is still strangely loved by all. |
 . “The Railways Mogul” [Tom Martin]Playing ridiculously good guitar might be his raison d’etre, but he’s more than a pretty face. He writes the funk lines that keep the band swimming in new original tunes. May spend his twilight years servicing toy trains, but surely his talent will never run dry. |
 . “The Bandit Priest” [Matt Vehl]Crazy keys and superb classical training combine to create the synth waves on which the band surfs. Long having given up the life of the celibate, he now sports an aura that the ladies find hard to resist. Has the best fitting mask, by accident or design. |
 . “The Leaping Shaman” [Julian Goyma]Drums since he was ten, a little bit of black magic since forever. Nothing says I love you like a phatty beat, and this resident witch doctor knows his love potions inside out. Leaps more occasionally than before, but still makes it count. |
 . “The Jewel Thief” [Josh Bennett]Master of the sitar, tabla, mandolin, dilruba and guitar, one thing he doesn’t need to steal is talent. Known to reduce rival musicians to tears in both musical duels and thumb-wrestles. |
 . “Chip Chase” [Ed Fairlie]Plays a sweet trumpet, and unlike most men, has no fear of hotpants. While his prowess on stage and on the tennis court are not in doubt, reports trickle in of gross misuse of his cravat. Fears only God and his tailor, and is intolerant of ballboys. |
 . “Dr Electrico” [Declan Jones]Though his methods are shocking to say the least, he has a heart of gold. He may fry the occasional frontal lobe for fun, but this veteran of the live music scene keeps the horn section sane and sounding schmick. |
 . “The Kung-Fu Dentist” [Ros Jones]Whack, crack - she’s got your molars in her fist. Except she is too nice to do that. Instead she trombones with the best and keeps the horn section smiling and pearly white with her charms. |